Hey everyone,
As promised, I am back with Part II!
First, I want to say thank you to everyone who shared, read, and clicked on Part I of this blog. It is honestly so encouraging to know that people are still reading blogs these days.
I truly appreciate everyone who took the time to read my story, connect with it, and even share it with someone else. It means A LOT!
So, without further ado… let’s get back into it!
In Part I of this, when I said that I started looking back at the decisions I had made just to feel chosen – I realized there was so much more to unpack. Rejection did not just affect the way I saw myself. It affected the people I allowed into my life, the things I tolerated, and the lengths I was willing to go to feel accepted.
I wanted to be chosen so badly that there were times when I ignored things I probably should not have ignored, stayed in places I probably should have left, and compromised parts of myself just to keep people around.
And looking back now, I can see that I was not always chasing the person. I was chasing the feeling of finally being chosen.
“Most of the time, what you are chasing is connected to what you feel you are lacking. And sometimes, what you are looking for in people is something only God can fill.” – Terran Z. Brodie
That realization changed everything for me.
As I began reflecting on my past emotional patterns, my upbringing, my attachment style, and the ways I had learned to connect with people, I became aware of a void within me that I had been looking for people to fill.
It was the part of me that was screaming, “Just choose me already.”
“Somebody… anybody… just choose me.”
I wanted so badly to feel wanted, accepted, loved, and chosen that I was looking for people to give me something I did not realize I already had. God had already chosen me. I just could not comprehend it. I could not see it. And honestly, I did not want to believe it because I was angry with Him.
I was angry about the things I had experienced. I was angry about the people I had lost. I was angry about the rejection I had endured. And somewhere along the way, I began to associate God with the very rejection I was trying to heal from.
So how could I believe that I was chosen by a God I felt had rejected me? That was the conflict I had to confront within myself.
And boy oh boy, what a journey it has been walking through that conflict. It is not easy to confront your soul (your mind, will, and emotions), especially when those areas have been wounded, damaged, or left vulnerable by the things you have experienced.
Some days, I honestly felt like I was betraying myself because I was forgiving, healing, letting go, and choosing to move forward. But can I tell you something? Healing was never betrayal. I was simply coming out of agreement with the lies that rejection had convinced me to believe about myself.
“Choosing to heal is not choosing to reject yourself. It is choosing to love yourself enough to come into alignment with who God says you are.” – Terran Z. Brodie
For so long, I had unknowingly partnered with thoughts that were never meant to define me. I believed them because of what I had experienced, but just because something happened to me did not mean the conclusions I drew from those experiences were true.
Below are a few of the traps and lies that the voice of rejection can implant in the mind of a believer:
• I am not wanted.
• I am not lovable.
• There must be something wrong with me.
• I have to prove myself to be worthy of love.
• I have to compromise who I am to be accepted.
• If I am not chosen, I am not valuable.
• Everyone will eventually leave me.
• I have to chase people to keep them in my life.
• Being alone means I am unwanted.
• I need other people’s validation to know my worth.
• If someone rejects me, God must be rejecting me too.
• I have to accept unhealthy relationships just so I won’t be alone.
And honestly, those lies can sound so convincing when they have been reinforced by years of experiences. But the beautiful part about healing is realizing that you do not have to remain in agreement with what once shaped you.
You can choose to challenge the lies. You can choose to forgive. You can choose to heal. You can choose to see yourself differently. And most importantly, you can choose to believe what God says about you, even when your experiences have tried to tell you something completely different.
Because rejection may have influenced how you saw yourself, but it does not get to define who you are.
“Rejection does not get to define who you are.”
And that brings me to what I want to talk about next.
If rejection has told you who you are for years, then what does God say about you? What does the Word of God say to the person who feels unwanted, overlooked, forgotten, or rejected?
That is where we are going next.
So, I’ll see you in the next blog. 🤍
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